My Relationship with God

I know that there are things we are not supposed to discuss in polite company. I believe that the wisdom passed down from my mother tells me that I am to steer clear of politics, religion, and money. Oh, and sex. Goodness knows we can't talk about THAT!

So maybe I shouldn't tell you any of this, and maybe you aren't interested. And I know you always have the option of closing this tab. But I really feel like talking about God and spirituality today....so I guess technically I'm NOT going to talk about religion. :) I HATE talking about religion.

I have always had a deep faith in God. It bothers me quite a lot when people who are atheists act as though I am less intelligent than they are because I believe. Faith isn't a function of intelligence. I don't act as though they are stupid because they DON'T believe. I completely understand their position. God does at times seem impossible. It is hard to fathom that a benevolent higher power would let terrible things happen in our world. And I can't explain that at all.

What I can say is this. I am a wretched person. Truly horrible inside. Rotten to the core. I am jealous, vindictive, sharp-tongued, sometimes downright hateful. I have a terrible temper. I fear many things, including being abandoned by the people who tell me every day how much they love me. Totally undeserving. But for some reason, God loves me and wants me to be with Him. I don't have to do anything to EARN the love either. I know this because He told me. Yeah, OK, that makes me sound like a crazy person, and maybe I am...I'm sure people said that to Noah too. God spoke directly to me once and so now I do not have the luxury of NOT believing. No burning bush...nothing like that. But God made me a promise, and His promise to me also seemed impossible. But it happened.

God didn't ask me to do anything in return, but I am feeling called to do something VERY far outside my comfort zone. Writing this blog post is part of that. Going to Africa might end up being another. I'm not sure when or how I will make that happen, but Zimbabwe is calling me.