Marital Cheating...WTH?

So today, as further proof of the fact that the world is disintegrating...or people are losing their minds...I read an article on Huffpost about an app called Whisper App. It is a place where people can post their cheating secrets--about cheating on their spouses, thinking about cheating, or getting ready to cheat. WTH? Seriously....

I was already frustrated and fuming a little as I read some of the things people have posted, but then I came to the one that set me off. It said something like, "I'm thinking about cheating...I have a good reason. But I don't know if I can live with the guilt." Well, you had better keep thinking because clearly you are confused.

There is NEVER A GOOD REASON TO CHEAT...ever. Period. No discussion necessary or desired. If you are reading this and saying, "but but but", you are WRONG. Cheating is nothing but a selfish, narcissistic, attention-whore thing to do. Cheating should NEVER be an option, and no one has the right to try to excuse that behavior for any reason. Don't write me any ugly responses because I don't want to hear it.

If you don't want to be faithful, get a divorce. Better yet, don't get married in the first place. Marriage is one partner til death do you part. That is a very easy concept. It isn't "until sex gets routine or boring". It isn't "until he makes you mad or until she gets fat". Love is hard work and relationships are hard work, and no relationship has ever been improved because a spouse started cheating.

There is just no situation in which I would EVER consider cheating on my husband. I was going to say that I am just not capable of doing that, but that's not it at all. If I weren't capable, it would sound like it was not in my control. I am as capable as anyone else, but I am completely UNWILLING. My husband deserves my undivided loyalty. My fidelity is one thing he should never have to worry about, especially as a military member. The last thing I want him to worry about when he is deployed is whether I am being faithful to him...that should never even be a blip on his radar.

Oh, and please don't ever say these words to me: "Well, you know, then one thing led to another...and it just happened." No. No no no no no. It is always a choice. a man and woman weren't just sitting in a room having a harmless conversation and then POOF! they tripped and their clothes fell off. (I was going to be more graphic about that because I'm stirred up, but I decided to act like a grownup :) )

Cheating is the most degrading, demoralizing thing that one spouse can do to another. I feel fortunate that I have not had to confront this issue in my own life---I have never to my knowledge had a significant other who cheated. Of course, I have only had TWO significant others in my whole life and have been married to one of them for 21 years....and the other one I never had sex with. But when I try to imagine myself in the place of several of my friends who HAVE been cheated on, I just don't know how they have been strong enough to get back into the dating game after all that. I don't know how you trust again. The one person who is supposed to protect your heart as if it is his/her own is the person that betrays you in the worst way....how do you trust lesser mortals after that?

Once again, this seems to come down to being able to accept personal responsibility for one's actions. Society doesn't make people cheat, porn doesn't make people cheat, boredom doesn't make people cheat. People cheat because there is something they feel like they need from their relationships that they are not getting. Well, you know what? You aren't EVER going to get those things without ASKING for them. The answer isn't looking outside your relationship. Why don't you try communicating?