It's a big word....really big. Our society thinks it means lots of different things.
It DOESN'T.
I don't love chocolate. I don't love Dr. Who. I don't love the color green.
We hear the word so much that it has kinda lost all meaning at times. People who barely know each other throw it around. We have been brainwashed into thinking love is a feeling and we fall in and out of it.....because our hearts are just that fickle.
Love is NOT a feeling. It is an action, a choice. It is work and sacrifice. And love is the same whether I am talking about Rick or Leigh or Erin or Christa or Mom or Dolly Anne or JoAnn or Sarah or Nick....the actions required are the exact same. Sure, we may demonstrate it differently....for instance, Rick is the only one I have sex with....but the actions required to maintain love are the same. Because the truth is that while sex is a really important part of intimacy, I would not love Rick any less if we could never have sex again. My love for him wasn't built on anything physical and wouldn't be destroyed by the lack thereof. I would miss it but it wouldn't change a thing.
We have been fed a steady diet of butterflies in our stomach, Prince Charming, sweep us off our feet, always feeling that smitten feeling.....and that is a total load of crap. All that stupid stuff sets each generation up for disappointment and divorce.
Real love is none of that...that is FALLING in love. Remaining in love requires hard hard work. It also isn't 50/50. Over time I guess it might average out to 50/50, but on any given day, you might find that it is 70/30 or 40/60 depending on what each person has to give that day. But the truth is that each person's heart has to be in it 100% every day. Some days you might even wake up not liking that face next to you...or you might be ticked off at something your BFF said, and those are the days that require the CHOICE to stay in it.
We are each gross, selfish, narcissistic lumps of flesh. We each want what we want. And it takes tremendous dedication to overcome that.....to decide that another person is worth it.
If your significant other...spouse, BFF, whatever....has never disappointed you, let you down, pissed you off or broken your heart, I'm here to tell you that your love hasn't been proven. It is what you do in these moments that defines what your relationship really means.
If you are not willing to hold back that person's hair while he/she vomits (even if you KNOW it is going to make you gag too), to drop EVERYTHING when that person really needs something, to sacrifice something you want for his/her happiness, to go and do things you really don't like because that other person loves it, or to meet that person in an undisclosed location in Louisiana with some shovels, lye, and a tarp without asking questions (that one is for you, Leigh), I would tell you that you might not love that person as much as you think.
I'm going to include two clips from Dr. Who that really sum up love....the choice to love despite all reason, the choice to love even when it is ultimate sacrifice---when love is doomed---when they know they can never truly be together. Because THAT'S what love's about, my friends.
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