The Day I Talked About Prayer (Or Why No One Asks Me to Speak in Church :)

Most of us have been told at some point in our lives that it isn't polite to discuss religion and politics in mixed company. Good advice. This isn't mixed company, though, and I am giving you fair warning that you might not like what I'm about to say. Promise me, though, that if you are going to read any further, that you will read the WHOLE thing. You don't have to like it and you don't have to agree but try to see the point I am trying to make.

I believe in God. I really do. As a matter of fact, I think I have more faith than the average person. I also believe I have a much more mature faith than many people because I really think about it. I have never been one to just blindly believe or agree just because some other human tells me to. I don't care if that person is a nun, a priest, my mom....I have to explore things for myself.

So here's the thing. I told my BFF that I don't believe in prayer, but I don't think I made myself very clear. It isn't that I don't believe in prayer, but I don't believe in prayer the way most people do it. I do not think that I can pray for someone to recover from a terminal illness or injury and God will make that happen. God has a plan for EVERYTHING, and He already knows how all this stuff is going to turn out. He isn't going to change the plan because I ask Him to. Not because He doesn't love me or care how I feel, but because His plan is greater than just my life or my feelings. Plus, God already KNOWS I don't want my friend or family member to suffer or die.

Think about it: anyone out there could be praying for the exact opposite thing that I am praying for. Am I supposed to believe that if I pray harder or have a bigger prayer circle that God will answer my prayer and not answer the prayer of the other person? Because I don't think it works like that. I think God sets things in motion according to His plan, and that's that. We have free will and might make a choice that causes a hiccup in the plan, but if God wants it a different way, it will end up that way. If my family member is dying and I pray for that person to live and he lives, it isn't because I prayed. It is because that is what God intended to happen in the first place.

Before you argue, think about the opposite. Would you say that if my family member dies, I just didn't pray hard enough? Of course not. You would say it was God's will. Well, guess what? I believe it is also God's will for the person to live...not a function of prayer. I might have OCD but it isn't bad enough for me to blame myself for someone's death because I didn't pray hard enough. And if my faith in God hinges on whether He lets someone live when I pray for it, my faith is awfully superficial and short-sighted.

So am I saying that God doesn't listen to prayer? NOT AT ALL. I think God hears ALL our prayers, and I think God answers real prayer. The kind in which a person prays for guidance, wisdom, strength, comfort, understanding, forgiveness, or enlightenment, either for him/herself or others. He answers all prayers that help me become a better person and a better steward of the world. I pray so often for these things, and I get them. If I didn't, I wouldn't be breathing today. I wouldn't be able to fight depression. I wouldn't be able to handle all the challenges of my life. I would collapse under the weight of all the stuff on my shoulders.

But I'm still here.

BFFs and Love Vol 2

The bestie from Volume 1 introduced me to this quote. Funny...I'm the Fitzgerald fan, but I had never seen this quote before. Dang. So true.

So I wanted to use this time to talk about the childhood bestie. There is something so magical about those childhood friends. Those friends who come into your life during the awkwardness of adolescence. They don't always stay (sometimes they are just there for a season), but the ones who do hold a treasured place in the heart.

I mean, who could forget this?

Ok, so I wasn't 12, but you get the picture. (We also didn't find a dead body, so....)

She came into my life at a very difficult time. High school wasn't a picnic for me, and I was about three years away from being dumped by my current bestie (since I was 12). I was a constant ball of nerves: too worried about what other people thought, too driven, too worried about grades and my future, too type A for my own good.

And there she was. And she scared me to death.

She was too free spirited, too type B, too able to do or be whatever she wanted with seemingly no concern whatsoever for what others thought. Could I even afford to be friends with someone like that? I mean, I could not possibly even hold my own in that relationship.

But somehow it happened. Somehow she became a fixture at my house, essentially living there. My parents considered her part of the family. She made Christmas cookies in my mom's kitchen. She went to all of our holiday events. She came to the house and ate dinner with my family and sat in my room while I was an exchange student. I don't have many teen/young adult memories that don't center around her. 

We have been part of all the crazy milestones in each other's lives. She was maid of honor in my wedding and I was matron of honor in hers. We have laughed and cried. I have run up astronomical phone bills calling from Germany. She's come to funerals and wakes and showers and we have even buried friends together. I offered to be a surrogate for her when she was having fertility issues. It has always been this:

She is the fiercest, bravest, most kick ass Xena Warrior Princess meets Diana Bishop meets better-than-Claire meets Tonks/Luna Lovegood/Professor McGonagall/Hermione all rolled into one beautiful woman. She's an awesome teacher, mom, and wife, and all of that makes her great. But above all, she makes me feel young and carefree and LOVED. 

And I love her back like CRAZY. 

There's never a question of whether she'll listen, or show up, or call, or have my back. Even when I am being really stupid. (Not that she won't tell me that I'm being stupid, but that comes after..... :) ) She checks in, she tells me about her classroom, she senses when I really need someone. 

We have grown more and more alike with the passing years. Our temperaments are more alike, our interests and likes are so similar....our jobs are even similar. I won't lie...we have differences too. I don't necessarily share her fascination with Dave Matthews and never loved Bel Biv Devoe. But she doesn't share my ABSOLUTE love of horror movies or sushi or Audioslave.

We have had rough patches. We have had times during which we weren't speaking. We have had times that life has made us distant, when we have been so caught up in our own things that we missed some stuff. We are human. But there has never been a time that I didn't know that I could pick up that phone and all of that would disappear. And she knows that too. 

We have a friendship like the ones you read about in books. We are like Jess and Leslie from Bridge to Terabithia, Frodo and Sam, Dill and Scout, Calvin and Hobbes, Tom and Huck, Rat and Mole, Watson and Holmes, Padfoot and Prongs, Aibileen and Minny, Ren and Stimpy, Cagney and Lacey, all of them.

But most of all and most telling of who we are as people, we are Ouiser and Clairee. She's evil and must be destroyed, and she loves me more than her luggage. :)