The Emperor's New Clothes

The media is totally taking a page straight out of fairy tales.
And it is getting pretty ridiculous at this point.
Are there really people out there so weak-minded that these tactics are WORKING?!?
I bet you are wondering who or what pulled my chain this morning, so I will tell you.

This monstrosity:



This is the latest effort by celebrities and the media to show us something heinous and make fun of it, but you KNOW in a couple of weeks people are going to be clamoring to buy things like it. IT IS AWFUL< FOLKS! It isn't going to get any less awful because it is on Kim Kardashian's arm...as a matter of fact, that right there should tell you that it is a trashy piece of crap. And Kanye COMMISSIONED this travesty...and he paid $40,000 for it.

Sometimes the items the media shows us aren't heinous but they aren't all that special either. But the public is really swayed by the LABEL. Oh, but Stacy, whatever could you mean? Oh I don't know, let's take a look:





And even:


I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with owning any of these things....if you really like them. But what I AM saying is that you could get something that looks JUST LIKE any one of these things at a fraction of the cost if you aren't obsessed with the brand. The Louboutin shoes are simply shiny black stilettos....you could get those in ANY shoe store in the mall. The Dooney and the Coach purses don't look any different from any number of purses you could buy at any store. They aren't special. The UGGs look EXACTLY like the ones they sell at Payless. (and by the way, I believe with all my heart that they are called UGGS because they are the most ugly-ass things I have ever seen AND they make you walk funny. I think they look stupid. I hate them. And I DO make fun of people who are wearing them) And Pandora....I know, heresy. But seriously, do you know that I have a bracelet that my bestie gave me that looks EXACTLY like that one that came from Kohl's. The beads are always on sale....some of them for...oh...$12. The bracelet fits Pandora beads so if there was a very particular Pandora bead, I could still have it.

Maybe it is because I am really not much of a materialist. Maybe it is because I want people to look at ME and not my clothing. Maybe it is because I am HIGHLY sensitive to being manipulated. But I SEE THAT THE EMPEROR IS NAKED. I want good quality things because I don't want to waste money replacing things. But I refuse to spend several times more for an item because of a logo.

What makes one of these scarves better than the other?

My scarf was probably about $25 and the Hermes $300-350.


What about these ballet flats?


The cheapest Tieks on the website-the ones above- which BTW aren't Nearly as cute as mine-are $175 and run as high as $295. Now mine...the gun metal grey ones with the black patent toes were $19.99 at Anne Taylor Loft and the leopard ones were $20 at Target. Those Tieks better make me fly or actually turn me INTO a ballerina.

We make fun of the infomercials we see for Bacon Bowls or Oxyclean or No-No or Pajama Jeans. We ask ourselves, are people really THAT inept at shaving? Do those REALLY look just like jeans? Is everything REALLY better with bacon? With the horrible acting, we just laugh.

But somehow when it is something high end, we fall for it. We buy into the "you get what you pay for" concept. And sometimes that concept is true. Cheap furniture isn't going to last. A pair of nicer jeans is going to fit better. But paying for quality is a far different beast from paying for a label. If you are willing to walk into Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch and pay $100 for a sweatshirt, then you need to be honest with yourself and say that you paid for the symbol on it...not because you were cold. It is the difference between making your self look nice/stylish versus trying to create the image of wealth. Screw that image of wealth. Where did we get the idea that that is important? 

Unlike Ms. Carrie Bradshaw, I would be a little embarrassed to wear Louboutins or Jimmy Choos. I wouldn't want people to think I was so wasteful with my money. I think it is irresponsible for most people to even ponder buying things like this. 

I'm not condemning anyone for these things....I'm simply presenting a new way of thinking about it. Maybe we STOP chasing the images fed to us by the media. 

Did You Think Life Would Be Like This?

Have you ever looked back on the way you THOUGHT your life was going to be and wanted to say, "What the heck?" Not in a bad way...not that you regret your choices or anything. But because the way you thought things would be are SO different from what actually happened?

Do you ever have trouble letting go of some of those things?

I do.

Here's a couple of pictures of someone trying to get me to let go of an idea when I think I'm right:







I have a beautiful, wonderful family. I have a husband who loves me and has been with me for the past 23 years. I have to great children, a boy and a girl. (which BTW is EXACTLY what I always wanted....when I played the game Life, that is what I always hoped for.) I have a great house, I have lived in lots of interesting places, I got to live in Europe, I went back to school to do what I really wanted to do....awesome life.

How is it different though?

Well...

I always thought I would marry someone older and foreign.....that is totally different, but God knew SO much better what I needed in a spouse. I did SO much better than what I imagined.



I thought I would become a very respected professor teaching English at a university....that is clearly not what I am called to do and I'm OK with that too. Here's what THAT might have looked like:

I thought Rick was going to want to go into the political arena....I'm actually pretty relieved that his interest in that has waned.



I thought I would always be close to my besties and that our children would grow up together...THAT ONE has been pretty tough to let go of...

But HERE is the real rub for me.....I always thought I would have one of those families where we went and DID stuff...camping, hiking, biking, ziplining, going to the beach, exploring new places, skiing...super active things. That we would know all our neighbors and they would come over and hang out on our patio...we would have block parties and deck crawls. But that is just not who we are as a family. They like to go to the movies, play video games, watch YouTube, go to amusement parks. I want to eat fresh fruits and vegetables; they want Pop Tarts. Nothing wrong with any of that, and sometimes I like to do those things too. But I have TONS of energy that needs to be expended...AND too much downtime lets me spend too much time in my own head....and that isn't good for me. And I want to find some things that Rick and I really like doing together because our kids aren't going to be around forever. At some point, Rick and I will be empty nesters, and we need some activities in common. I HATE sitting around the house. I need people and experiences.




 And I don't need to do things alone. If you watch Dr. Who and you remember the episode "Angels Take Manhattan" in which Rory and Amy die, Amy wrote an afterward in the book that says this:



"Sometimes I do worry about you though. I think once we're gone, you won't be coming back here for a while. And you might be alone, which you should never be. Don't be alone, Doctor." 

That's me in a nutshell.

I've really got to figure out a way to make myself OK with the way things REALLY are. After all these years, I still keep expecting to wake up every day and everyone in the house will be eager to go out and do something new. And I feel that I am the one who needs to change my mindset since I am only one person and there are three other people in the house who are seemingly OK with the way things are. I'm smart, right? I ought to be able to figure this out. I'm not going to stop trying to find something...and I'm sure I will. If this is the worst problem I have, I'm a pretty lucky girl. :)

Christmas Cruelty (Rick's Post)

Ladies and gentlemen,

Christmas is supposed to be about love and kindness. We are supposed to be losing ourselves in the joy of giving.

It is not a time for torment.

And by torment, I mean this:

Those of you who know me, know that I am a cat lover. Clearly the person putting clothes on this cat underestimates the majesty of the feline....and its desire to rip the face off the people who demean it! :)

Really?!?
CleoCATra?!?

This utter disdain felt by the feline is in sharp contrast to the feelings of the canine. Dog lovers will surely agree with me that most dogs goodnaturedly put up with being dressed up in ridiculous clothing. They simply want to please their humans

They simply go through their doggy lives thinking, "Do-dee-do-dee-do, my owner is very happy. I must be beautiful. Maybe I will get a treat later. Do-dee-do-dee-do." Nothing wrong with that; dogs just aren't big on dignity.

Not so the cat. Dignity is very important...and their memories are long....

The same holds true for affection given. Cats want to love you on THEIR terms. They do not care if you are sad/happy/lonely. They only want to be held...and then God help you if you don't stop EVERYTHING to do their bidding and give them your undivided attention.

Cat sees owner after six months

So...here's my point. Stop dressing your cats. They don't want to be dressed up like dolls. They are too good for that. And don't scoop them up and squeeze them.....they will come and butt their heads against you, jump on you and meow incessantly when they want your attention.

Merry Christmas! Enjoy another video about what makes cats so great:

Cat Attacks Christmas Tree

So This Is Christmas

It is 5:02 am Christmas morning. I'm sitting in front of the fire and the twinkling tree with my mastador puppy asleep beside me, and all is calm, all is bright. I like this quiet time before everyone else gets up; it is usually a time when I gather my thoughts for the day and make my to-do list. But not today.

Today there will be no lists. There will be no trips to the grocery store or Target. I'm not going to vacuum or clean a bathroom or even do laundry.

Today I am going to wrap myself in the warmth of my family. I'm going to honor the birth of the savior by watching my tone of voice, by spending quality time with my kids doing things they like...even if I don't. I'm going to take pictures and act silly and eat food I really shouldn't. I'm going to sing and make faces and create new words...like we do here :)   [Sarah created "home skog" during her bday sleepover...it is a cross between "home skillet" and "home dog"...neither one of which is usually in her vocabulary. That's not weird at all]

For today I am not going to worry about my weight. I'm not going to worry that I am a substandard parent. I'm not going to worry that I'm the bitchiest wife on the planet. I'm not going to obsess over whether friends are replacing me with other people that they love more because I am not there. I'm not going to mourn not being where I REALLY want to be.

Today I am going to enjoy all the blessings God has given me, starting with sending His own son to save me. He has blessed me with an enduring love for my spouse that has been tested and has survived. He has blessed me with funny, smart, beautiful children.....and additionally has sent me three of the best friends that anyone could ever have; each of whom represents some different hole in my heart that needs filling.

We are all very blessed; I'm sure each of you could tell me a story about the myriad ways blessings are manifested in your lives. Celebrate that today.

My Relationship with God

I know that there are things we are not supposed to discuss in polite company. I believe that the wisdom passed down from my mother tells me that I am to steer clear of politics, religion, and money. Oh, and sex. Goodness knows we can't talk about THAT!

So maybe I shouldn't tell you any of this, and maybe you aren't interested. And I know you always have the option of closing this tab. But I really feel like talking about God and spirituality today....so I guess technically I'm NOT going to talk about religion. :) I HATE talking about religion.

I have always had a deep faith in God. It bothers me quite a lot when people who are atheists act as though I am less intelligent than they are because I believe. Faith isn't a function of intelligence. I don't act as though they are stupid because they DON'T believe. I completely understand their position. God does at times seem impossible. It is hard to fathom that a benevolent higher power would let terrible things happen in our world. And I can't explain that at all.

What I can say is this. I am a wretched person. Truly horrible inside. Rotten to the core. I am jealous, vindictive, sharp-tongued, sometimes downright hateful. I have a terrible temper. I fear many things, including being abandoned by the people who tell me every day how much they love me. Totally undeserving. But for some reason, God loves me and wants me to be with Him. I don't have to do anything to EARN the love either. I know this because He told me. Yeah, OK, that makes me sound like a crazy person, and maybe I am...I'm sure people said that to Noah too. God spoke directly to me once and so now I do not have the luxury of NOT believing. No burning bush...nothing like that. But God made me a promise, and His promise to me also seemed impossible. But it happened.

God didn't ask me to do anything in return, but I am feeling called to do something VERY far outside my comfort zone. Writing this blog post is part of that. Going to Africa might end up being another. I'm not sure when or how I will make that happen, but Zimbabwe is calling me.

If You Ever Thought You Were Crazy....

There have been days when I have thought I was losing my freaking mind. I'm sure that must happen to everyone. Right? Can I get an AMEN? Anyone..?

Today is not one of those days. I feel pretty much stone cold sane today. Then again, nothing has really happened to challenge my grip on reality either. :)

I promise you this, though. If you ARE having one of those days, all you have to do to remind yourself of how truly mentally competent you are is look up what either Kanye West or R. Kelly are saying on any given day. Today is no different.

Poor Yeezy. Bless his heart. He isn't selling out concerts right now and I bet that eats at him. But good grief. The nonsense that constantly spews forth from his piehole doesn't exactly draw people to him. :) First he said this about the president:

“Man, let me tell you something about George Bush and oil money and Obama and no money,” West said.
“People want to say Obama can’t make these moves or he’s not executing. That’s because he ain’t got those connections. Black people don’t have the same level of connections as Jewish people. Black people don’t have the same connection as oil people.”
West went on to say, “Can you guarantee that your daughter can get a job at this radio station? But if you own this radio station, you could guarantee that. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Ummmm...Jewish like who? George Bush? Since when is HE Jewish? Nevermind how stupid the comment is anyway even without that. Does he even listen to the words coming out of his own mouth?

Then he goes on to talk about how dangerous his life is....

 “This is like being a police officer or something … or like war or something.”
“You’re literally going out to do your job every day knowing that something could happen to you.”

So, being a rapper is like being a policeman? Really? Yeah, he might be right that people might be looking to gun him down.....maybe to stop his ridiculous mouth from running anymore. (That was a joke BTW...a tacky one). But I'm thinking that that isn't really the same as people putting their lives on the line to serve and protect. He sounds kinda like Tom Cruise saying that being an actor was like being a soldier at war in Afghanistan. (This isn't a video of THAT but if you want to see Tom being a nutbag, here's a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0  and here's a link of Jerry O'Connell making fun of Tom's video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5Zv3X_Hlck ) Do these guys REALLY have that sense of importance? How do people walk through life so delusional?

But then there is R. Kelly. Dear Lord in heaven.I think maybe he is mentally ill. He started talking about haters and then somehow managed to transition to talking about Breezy (that's Chris Brown if you haven't heard and aren't hip to the scene like I am...LOL) :

“I only feel sorry for weak people,” he told the Guardian’s G2 supplement. “And mostly what I’ve come to find is that the weak people are the ones that are the haters.
“The ones that’s talking about Chris Brown, or R. Kelly, or anybody that’s successful? I feel sorry for them, not Chris Brown, because he’s obviously one strong individual to be able to do what he’s done.”
”He got knocked down a little bit and he climbed up. You know, that sounds like Ali to me. That sounds like Martin Luther King to me.
“That sounds like a lot of the greats that have walked this earth. It even sounds a little bit like Jesus to me.”

Oh.My.God. I think in the course of one sentence, he compared Breezy the Abusive Ass Clown to Muhammad Ali, MLK, and ...drum roll please...JESUS. Really? I'm pretty sure Jesus told us to turn the other cheek....not to expect our girlfriend to turn the other cheek and let us keep beating her.

Celebrity gossip sites are a complete waste of time, but they are at least good for one thing. I promise you will walk away feeling SO much better about both your mental status AND your parenting skills!

Why I Hate the Elf on a Shelf :)

Have you seen him? I wanna wipe that smug little smile off his face. The little bastard.

Seriously though. Don't misunderstand. I think the IDEA of the Elf on a Shelf is a fun one. The intent is that he/she is supposed to get into mischief during the night, and the kids look for him in the morning and get a kick out of whatever he/she has done. It is a cute way to help the kids count down the days until Christmas. And it isn't really that hard, especially now that there is Pinterest (which didn't exist when we got our elf way back in 2009), and there are pins of hundreds of things you can do with the elf. Fun right? If you want to read the backstory on the elf, go to www.elfontheshelf.com/content/about-us .

However....

As typically happens though, not everyone out there can be satisfied with just mischief. The people who gave my daughter the elf when we lived in Alabama were THOSE kind of people. I think maybe the mom in that family didn't want to really be bothered with setting up a scene, so their elf brought a GIFT to her kids every morning. A GIFT. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. FOR. 25. DAYS. For kids who didn't even believe in Santa anyway. So obviously, our elf had to bring a gift too or my daughter would feel like hers was defective. She didn't know that he was supposed to only do silly things. She didn't have any other friends who had one. Only the MOST materialistic of all her friends. The ones who wore the best clothes and went to be best private school. The ones who got everything they ever asked for. Then, even after we weren't in Alabama anymore, she would still expect the gifts...except as soon as we left AL, I just stopped.

I try hard to make my kids understand that Christmas isn't all about the gifts. I want them to focus on the giving aspect, rather than the receiving, but our culture doesn't make that easy. I know that isn't really the elf's fault. :) But I tell you that the little knowing smile on his face brings back the stressed out feelings of that first Christmas in AL every time I open the Christmas boxes. Of me trying to make it through my first Christmas as a teacher and freaking out trying to find small gifts to leave out every morning...and not forget to do it. I'm not even sure why we still have the elf. I tried to throw him away a couple of years ago, but my daughter freaked out. He's still in the Christmas box; I just saw him. Maybe that is supposed to be a reminder to me to emphasize the TRUE meaning of Christmas. Yeah. That must be it. Not that I'm too lazy to hide him at the  bottom of the trashcan. :)

Let's Talk About Depression

OK. It's confessional time in the Big Brother House. I struggle with depression. There. I Said it. Aloud. Sorta. On the Interwebs. :)

Wow. That's a little freeing.

I have struggled with depression for most of my life. Not every day or even every week or month. I can potentially go for long stretches and feel quite OK....but it comes back.( Anti-depressants really aren't a viable option for me; their benefits do not outweigh their side effects. And to be honest, I don't think it is an option to pop a pill for the rest of my life. Better living through pharmacology isn't really my way. )

And that, ladies and gentlemen, has always made me feel weak. It is what sometimes makes me loathe myself.....my face, my voice, my body. This is the reason I'm always looking for activities that makes me feel strong and tough, like CrossFit, kickboxing, standard boxing, etc. It makes me feel inadequate and like people can't possibly care about me. It whispers in my ear when I'm feeling vulnerable. Depression IS A LIAR.

And after all these years, I know this. I really do. (Sometimes I need reminding though).

But depression doesn't define me. I don't want people to feel sorry for me; it isn't like that. It really isn't any different that if I told you I have diabetes or asthma.  Depressed or not, I still get out of bed every day. I still smile, laugh, and look around for the positive things. I try to be a help to others; an outward focus seems to make the depression go away. Holidays and my current unemployment status can sometimes be tough, especially in a new place, but I plan to stay as busy as I can.

And depression won't win.

So, look. If any of this sounds like you, don't be ashamed. I bet you would be surprised to know how many people feel this way. Don't hide. Get out and do things, even when you don't want to. Reach out to people. But no wallowing......ok ok. Maybe you can have a couple of wallowing, sweatpants and ice cream days a year, Everyone is entitled to that. :)